Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

Last week, disguised as a malcontented youth, Global Warming confessed to starting the fires which made more people homeless and scorched more earth than all of the Hummers produced to date. Global Warming's identity, held secret by authorities because of his age, was released into the custody of his parents -- Mother Earth & Father Time ?? -- and told not to engage in any other malicious mischief or he would get a "really stern talking to" by the members of the Sierra Club.

One club member was overheard commenting on how angry she was that her GMC Yukon was "covered in ash while I was attending my yoga class in Fallbrook."

In other news, San Diegoans managed not to vandalize any portion of The Murph while living there during their brief evacuation. Fearing another New Orleans Superdome debacle, local government leaders were astounded at the evacuees' orderly entrance and exit. "It's almost as if they actually cared about the stadium and each other, " one official anonomously commented.

Thankfully, there was minimal loss of life, despite the tremendous damage done to all of the homes and businesses. The firefighters and rescue workers deserve our thanks for a great job done in the worst of circumstances.