Fuzzy Math and Killer Technology

Greetings, readers. Please enjoy some random observations from your friendly blogger regarding recent news items....

Everyone not living in a cave the last month is probably aware of the timely demise of Saddam Hussein, the world's favorite dictator and a cause celebre for the political left. Given a long drop with a short stop while wearing a rope necklace, he departed this world to enjoy his 72 virgins, although I suspect it will be difficult to enjoy himself in the 15,000 degree Fahrenheit environs of his particular paradise.

Having a somewhat morbid curiosity on the technical details of death by hanging, I did some research and discovered the actual manual designed by the U. S. Army to execute condemned prisoners by this method. Isn't Google awesome? Taking into account the design of the gallows and the convict's height and weight, executioners use a mathematical formula to make the hanging as "efficient" as possible. Some guys goofing off in their college physics class had too much time on their hands. Regardless, I suppose those who've benefited from this precise math probably are grateful for the precise calculations. Well, at least briefly grateful.

Hussein's other co-defendants were also hanged the other day. Barzan Ibrahim, Saddam's half-brother would not be counted among the aforementioned grateful condemned. Someone on the execution team must have made a slight (??) error in his "death calculation." As a result, when Barzan's trip south suddenly stopped, he must have traveled too far and was unfortunately decapitated. Ouch...that's going to leave a bruise. Evidently, if the drop is too short, the poor victim can suffocate slowly. A drop that's too long can behead the person being hanged. It's good to see the math checks on this one. I remember the kidnap victims in the past brutally beheaded with swords by terrorists. They didn't have the luxury of a miscalculated drop. Let's not forget with whom we're dealing.

Some final thoughts on a story I saw yesterday. Some pitiful shlub set himself on fire in his hotel room because his cell phone malfunctioned. Sustaining second- and third-degree burns to his body, the man is fortunately in stable condition following the incident. Compounding the injuries was the fact that the victim was wearing nylon and polyester clothing. A uniform of some type, one would hope. Or perhaps he was attending a leisure suit reunion party. Whatever the reason for this sartorial disaster, his room sustained $75,000 in damages. The good news -- both his and the hotel's insurance will cover the losses. The bad news -- he still has to pay the $175 early termination fee. You just can't win anymore these days. I hope he has a full and speedy recovery.